How I got rid of 80% of my belongings

Minimalist learnings from an overstuffed life

I have never really thought of myself as a materialist or a consumer. My friendships, my family, creativity, and my spiritual practices have always been more important to me than money, career, or ‘things’. But when I was 28 - over twenty years ago now - I broke up with my boyfriend and I had to move out of our shared flat to find somewhere else to live. A friend introduced me to a French dude called Florian, who was looking for someone to share his flat with. He had long dreadlocks, played jazz flute, and was an all round lovely guy. Florian - or Mr Flo as I called him - helped me move all my stuff into the flat and it was noticeable the difference between us. His room was very sparse - a few clothes, a laptop, a flute, a bed - and I was bringing in box after box of books, lots of CDs and DVDs and piles of clothes. He watched incredulously as I carried a box of handbags in - ‘how many bags does one person need?!’ he said, laughing. I told him it was different for girls. At the time I didn’t think much of any of this, but I did notice that my double room was completely piled up with ‘things’.

Fast forward another ten years, and finding myself in a chaotic state, I started to ask this question: ‘How do I live a simpler life?’ I thought back to this time with Mr Flo and realised that he was right… I had a lot of stuff! Maybe I was a materialist after all. Going on my first Buddhist retreat helped me to see that my identity and my values weren’t at all tied to my things. I could be happy and find a sense of inner peace and purpose, without my stuff. I didn’t have to keep the arthouse DVDs, the shiny handbags, or the highbrow books to prove who I was or why I had worth. I started to learn more about the practice of minimalism and felt really drawn to living with more intention, clarity and space.

Minimalism means being intentional: how does my stuff make me feel?
To live a minimalist life means to actually create space first in your physical surroundings and then to continue that process in other areas of your life, such as digitally, your commitments and diary, and your mental and spiritual life¹. But to begin with, I started to realise that my cramped and overstuffed life was having a bigger impact on my mental state than I had realised. Starting with tangible ‘stuff’, I noticed just how unintentional I was with my physical possessions, and I began a slow process of becoming more clear. What do I actually care about? How do these things make me feel? What things bring value to my life?

It was obvious that I was spending a large proportion of my time managing my stuff, tidying it up, trying to make things clean and tidy but largely failing. One of my favourite minimalists - the Minimal Mom - talks about the burden of ‘managing inventory’. Everything you own, you have to manage. You have to maintain, store, organise, repair, think about, tidy and clean. All of this is time and effort, and if we’re not intentional with our things, it can take over. Another aspect, as Fumio Sasaki describes in his book Goodbye, Things, is that our stuff ‘whispers’ to us and takes up mental space that way. The tennis racket we aren’t using on weekends as we’d hoped. Those language CDs for when we were trying to master French, for that holiday we never took. That yoga bolster in the corner gathering dust. All reminding us of an imagined person we wanted to be, one that we aren’t… making us feel guilt and shame at worst, annoyance at best.

I wanted to remove all this physical and mental clutter from my life. I wanted to be the person who is in the moment, right now, and let go of this idea of a ‘perfect future self’.

But how much stuff do I actually have? The practice of counting my things
Many minimalists talk about aiming for a certain number of items - like Dave Bruno and his 100 things challenge - or some argue that only less than X things makes you a minimalist. But for me, it’s clear that everyone’s lifestyles are different. If you have a family that you need to cook meals for, you’re going to have more kitchenware than a single person, for example. This is not to say that numbers don’t matter. I began with counting a lot of my things, just to see how many I had. This was the most eye-opening process and brought home the stark reality of just how much I owned. Not only do you need to get everything out - a stuff explosion! - to see what you have (a bit like one of my favourite decluttering shows ‘Sort Your Life Out’ where they lay the entire household contents on the floor of a large warehouse) but then you actually have to put a number to those items, which can be rather a shock.

Mugs from The Metropolitan Museum of Art, New York

The easiest way to start is with your mugs - feel free to pause reading and go and do a count! This is exactly what I started with. Knowing there are three people in my house, and that I have two to three guests at max, you would imagine that I had maybe eight mugs in total. But the reality was I had almost 40! If I was honest with myself, I knew that if I had more space in my kitchen, life would flow more smoothly. If I had less mugs to wash, less clutter when I opened the cupboard, it would have a big impact on me.

After that I became slightly obsessed with counting different categories of my things. I even roped my mum in to help me itemise all my clothes, getting her to keep a tally chart as I waded through many cardigans, strappy tops and yoga leggings. In each category, I was completely astonished as to how many things I had. I didn’t have a big income, and I didn’t spend a lot of time shopping - it wasn’t a leisure activity for me. But the numbers didn’t lie - I had a huge number of things.

At this point I set myself a non-numerical goal to let go of ‘a lot’ of my things and create space. I began to try to do this in small areas of my home - a drawer, a shelf, a cupboard - and also with categories of things, such as exercise clothes or cutlery.

Noticing the ‘reasons’ aren’t really reasons to keep things at all
As I started to try to let go, I noticed a lot of ‘reasons to keep things’ popping into my head. ‘This mug came from that conference I went to’, ‘I was gifted this necklace by a friend’, or even ‘this birthday card has a nice picture on it’. But deep down I knew that I had memories of the conference, that my friendship was the precious item - not the necklace - and I had no need to keep all the pretty pictures that crossed my path. I learned to trust that what I really deeply value in my life goes way beyond what an item can hold in it. And as I practiced decluttering more and more, I relished the peace of mind that it gave me, to really focus on beauty, friendship and memories, without the grasping and hard work of having so much stuff.

If you want to make a big dent, let go of a whole category… but know that decluttering happens in ‘waves’
I’d let go of a good chunk of my fiction books, knowing they had been ‘just for show’ as I would never reread many of them and could always get a copy from the library. And when I revisited my books a little later, I felt like I could let go of more. I became more able to trust my instincts and each decluttering session allowed me to do a little more and a little more. These sessions came in ‘waves’ as I became more sure of what were the things I really treasured and what I was hanging onto for no real reason.

With communal things for the family we worked together. My son became an ace at the ‘yes/no’ game, making quick decisions about books and toys. I found that children were a lot less attached than adults! With my husband we agreed that actually we only needed one dinner set each and a couple of extra place settings, and that worked for us. No more huge piles of washing up that couldn’t be dealt with easily and quickly.

As I started to notice all of the space and clarity in my life the decluttering accelerated. I was able to let go of entire categories of things. I let go of all of my CDs and all of my DVDs, and kept less than ten books in total. These were radical acts that only happened after a number of years of decluttering bit by bit, wave by wave, but they meant that I had reduced my belongings by a huge 80%. I didn’t really miss anything that I let go of, which was a relevation. I felt clear, calm and in control.

Where I am now, in 2025: Decluttering as an ongoing process
I still have relatively few things compared to others, but my minimalism has become a little more ‘cosy’ over the past couple of years. I have a few more ornaments, for example, brightening up the space. I also have a small bookcase of books which are largely for my herbalism and Buddhist studies. I still don’t own any DVDs or physical music, and the digital culture has moved more in that direction. I did Project 333 - a minimalist capsule wardrobe experiement - and I still have a pretty small amount of clothes.

I know that life changes and I try not to be harsh with myself when ‘more things’ enter my home. But I also have noticed recently that my space feels less calm, so I’ve started another wave of decluttering - I’ve just let go of some more clothes and I’ve had a good go at paperwork and notebooks, which feels wonderful. It’s an ongoing process to maintain calm and peace in my home, but it’s one I love - sorting through what’s most important to me and what brings me joy².

My top ten tips for decluttering

1. Get clear on what you have: count, inventory, list your things little by little.

2. Get clear on how these things impact you: what time do they take? How much physical and mental space do they occupy?

3. Find your why. What would your life be like with less things? What would function more smoothly or feel more satisfying? How would it free up your time?

4. Do a small area or category at a time. Just start with a drawer or your mug cupboard. Try not to overface yourself

5. Come back to areas or categories after a month or so. Have you missed any of the things you let go of? Are there a few more things you can part with?

6. Leave sentimental categories (such as letters or baby clothes) for last, when you’ve built up some momentum and feel more confident

7. Gift things to friends and people in your community who would appreciate them or make some extra money selling things

8. Take time to enjoy parts of your house that are now less cluttered. Relish the space!

9. Enjoy the things that you decide to keep. Treasure the things that bring you happiness… but value experiences and relationships more than stuff!

10. Know that decluttering comes in stages and seasons, and that there will be different times in your life where you may want more or want less. Be gentle with yourself

If you have any questions - or things about decluttering you’d like advice on - I’d love to talk in the comments!

1. I’ll share more on these areas as I continue this ‘Simplicity’ series of posts

2. A little nod to Marie Kondo, queen of decluttering!